Fragile handle with care

[matilda36]

It is at times like this that the knowledge of my illness hits me the hardest, although not in a completely negative way.

Yes I am as weak as a kitten. I overreact to the smallest thing and I can't stop crying (speaking of which I need to sort that out before going to work. I see a lot of Rescue Remedy in my future).

But I know it's not because I am an horrible, weak person. It's just that I am a bit emotionally retarded. What for other people is just an argument, although a screaming one, for me is the end of the world. I am already fretting about going to work today.
I am worried i will be punished, that I will not have a job anymore, that people will not like me anymore, that they think she was right, that my illness has suddenly become visible, that I will be seen as weak, unreliable, like the emotional retard I am.

I cry, tears streaming down my face everythime the thought hits me.

I just wish for rest, and to be the kind of  person with the strenght to shrug off things like this.

Or maybe the strong one is me, scared and broken, and yet going to work all the same this afternoon..

Comments

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

I hope your day goes smoothly.

[matilda36.livejournal.com]

Thank you

[cleo1969.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You aren't weak, sis. You are rather strong considering you haven't fallen in under the wish for rest that's tempting you. There's so much strength in you to acknowledge and know that what you are feeling is a symptom of your illness. *Hugs* Struggle on sis. You will prevail.

[matilda36.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

thanks. I am not sure I will prevail, but I'll struggle on, especially thanks to the support of my friends