Beings

As you have probably guessed bymy absence of postings over the week-end, I didn't have a very good week-end. I was already in a dark mood on Friday night after the footie and an hard week of lies at work, but Saturday Morning was ok. Shopping in Wood Green (I got a couple of lovely things from Evolution) cleaning, meditation exercise and then...a deep, dark feeling of emptiness. I am so used to lie to the world, to present a face that is not mine that I do it authomatically. For example, I rang my dad, he was in a good mood I got along because I didn't want to spoil it. I realised that I do this all the time. And that it is one of the reasons why I end up spending so much time on my own and I get so tired when I am with other people: because I have to concentrate to be what they want. To be loved you know. But it does not work, so sod off I am being who I want to be and rest a little bit.