matilda36: (i am done pretending)
Just finished watching The Hunger Games. It's an ok videogame, but it lacks the magic worldbuilding of Harry Potter, it's mixture of fun and deepth.

Katniss lacks of depth and so does Peeta. Give me Harry and Draco anyday
matilda36: (Default)
Title: Mycroft Holmes and the case of the missing Detective Inspector
Author: [ profile] chef_hector
Pairing: Mycroft/Lestrade, John/Sherlock
Length: 3573 words
Rating: PG - 13
Warnings: Mentions of violence and torture. M/M Relationships
Verse: Sherlock BBC
Author's summary: Lestrade is kidnapped and Mycroft has to get him back.
Reccer's comments: I confess my bias. I betaed this. I was with it from inception to posting. But I still think it’s a good fic. It’s smartly written, with smooth shifts of voice (every chapter is told from the point of view of a different character), spot on characterization and a light and credible plot. And at moments, especially in the Sherlock/John relationship, very funny.
matilda36: (Default)
I am having the most boring vacation there. In beed sleeping, or in front of the PC reading and watching shows and films.

It's exactly what I needed. I am starting to feel regenerated. I am actually looking forward to going back to work, and I have plans to go to the fair on Monday.

I am going to pick up my car from the shop tomorrow. The prognosis is bad, but there's still hope for my Ellie (Yeah I named my car. Ellie is short for Elephant, because it's not a very small car.). We'll see how it drives  next week.
Read more... )
matilda36: (Default)
matilda36: (Default)
I just realised I haven't posted all week It's been quite a boring week actually. I spent most of my not working time sleeping. I love sleeping. It's just... whenever I go to bed I am smiling. Sometimes I don't sleep straightaway, I spend some time telling me stories. I have an entire (and very slashy) universe planned in my mind, with characters and stories. An Universe I will never share, because I am shy about that  and because it's my bedtime universe.

Wednesday I took the car to the shop. A couple of months ago, I mixed up the bottles and put oil instead of water in the radiator. I was told it was a stupid thing to do but no consequences, but apparently there were consequences and I have to take the car in next week so they can clean it. Luckily I am off next week (Yay! More time for sleeping), so i can leave it in the shop all week.

This morning I did something. I have been meaning to do more recs and reviews for a while and today I did it. I sgned up with 221_recs to do some Sherlock BBC (my main fandom at the moment) recs. I then proceeded to reactivate my delicious account (I thought they had deleted it, instead it was still there) and stared franctically saving links for my favourite fics and art. Yeah because the Sherlock fandom is so good that there is art good enough that I can rec it.

I should put the groceries away and give the goldfish is bath... but I am so excited I am doing something creative finally!
matilda36: (MerDer)

Important things first: I have a new Tim Drake/Conner Kent story to rec: Cole to home by Iesika:

It takes the new Tim and Kon and tells us how these two are grown. Tim is darker, Kon is more mature. Their common enemy is bigotry and homophobia and they defeat it by being Tim and Kon.

One day I'll probably understand why I love this pairing so much. I don't even read DC comics.

On other news I still got a cold. Slightly better, carefully medicated, but still there.

Today work was happily busy. I did my personal best  420 tickets in 6 hours. I like to be busy even if I am very happy to be home tomorrow. So I can rest, recuperate and do some shopping. I am down to my last packet of noodles.
matilda36: (MerDer)

On Wednesday I went on a date. It was my first date in ages and it went quite well. There are not going to be wedding bells or even a great love story (amongst other things he's married), but he was a gentleman and maybe next time there's gonna be some sex at the end of it.

Although I don't feel really hot right now. I bought a new foundation so I can put some make up on when I go to work and feel prettier, but after spending the evening puking and the morning cleaning puke, all I want is to curl up in bed. I puked my meds so I had a very uncomfortable night and this morning I didn't feel well enough to talk to my brother. I had to go back to bed for a couple of hours. I got to work this afternoon.

Slight spolers for Grey's Anatomy )

This afternoon is back to work. I am ready for it, upset tummy and everything.

Oh and I am gonna try this NaBloPoMo thing again this month, so expect a post a day from me (National Blog Posting Month is like NaNoWriMo, only you have to post in your blog once a day for a month. This is my third year and It's always cheer me up)
matilda36: (i am done pretending)
I was sick all of Wednesday and Thursday and barely recovered on Friday. On wednesday just after writing my last post, my back started to cramp. I had to resort to muscle relaxants to be able to work. On Thursday morning managed to run my errands, then I ate some seafood, started having a blinding headache and pucked everything. An early bed helped me. Friday i felt frigile, and even while I am writing this I am starting to feel all aches and pains.

I think a lot of it was psychosomatic. It was hard writing that I love me and I hate my illness, reminding myself that I am worth something, that the battle is already taking place every day. The battle for my body and mind.

So my body decided that a little reenactment was overdue. I spent the first two years back in Italy prisoner of back pain and headaches. A fortune spent in chiropractice and a diet made me better. But I have been putting on weight, I am completely out of shape and I am fighting for the control of my mind. Because that's the point isn't it?
To carry on with my personal witness protection program involving mornings spent watching Hell's Kitchen (I am gonna stop watching it because I am absolutely convinced that Raj and Sabrina are two actors planted to stir trouble), Project Runaway, Top Chef just desserts,Supernatural (I didn't really like the season opener, let's hope it gets better), House ( House and Cuddy are so cute. And the Hilson moment was perfect) NCIS and Grey's Anatomy (I am so Meredith. She's the TV character with whom I identify more) and afternoons spent reading or working.


To try everyday to live. To clean the house, to see friends, to go and buy myself some new clothes, to beta. Maybe to start that copy editing course I was thinking about. To go for walks and rides enjoying the early days of autumn. To cook something, not even necessarily healthier, but homemade food is anyway better than noodles..To stop looking for overtime so it keeps me busy.

To stop living in fear, looking for the first sign of pain, depression, mania. To stop living in a limbo of my own making, first and last line of defence against madness. If madness has to come, madness will come, hiding or not hiding. The only thing I can do is to try to stay fit and take my meds. The rest... it may be the strangest and smallest thing that can bring a worsening of my condition: menopause, a disruption on my period, stress, loss, everything.

Now I have a choice. Live in fear of something that if it happens it will happen outside of my control or live.

Today I choose to write, to bring my struggle to the open like a wound. Today I choose to live.
matilda36: (Default)
Busy week till now, but relatively ok. Tuesday and Wednesday morning were hospital time, with me seeing my psychiatrist and taking my neighbour to the hospital for some appointments. It's 82, nearly blind, with a wife with Obsessive compulsive disorder (she hasn't set foot out of her house for 13 years except for hospital time), helping him is the least I can do. On tuesday I completed the day going to do my weekly shopping.

I bought oil and other stuff for my car. After driving the allegedly better car of my neighbour I realised that I love my car. She's old, not fast and looks like the snake that has swallowed the elephant in the Little Prince, but I love Ellie (short for elephant).

Anyway On tuesday I was too tired and wednesday afternoon I went to work (another busy day Yay! and there may be overtime in my future next week), so the shopping cluttered my living room floor till this morning, when I shamed myself into putting everything in place.

Then I had lunch with a friend and then I got home and managed that rare feast: a productive afternoon at home. I did my washing and started settling the plants for the coming autumn.

On other news, I am trying some new music. Loved Sunny side up by Paolo Nutini, currently listening to Kaleidoscope heart by sarah Bareilles. It's that kind of female music, that I usually find appealling, but it makes me think: If I want to listen to Indigo girls, I'll listen to the Indigo girls. Next up on my list Emiliana Torrini.

Any musical advice (Yes I have the new Scissor Sisters and I am loving it. They have the uncanny ability of taking the most crude and some will say less apetising sides of cruising and transforming them in cheerful music that makes you want to dance and do filthy gorgeous things. Even if you are a 40 years old spinster)
matilda36: (Default)

All my carefully collected icons did disappear in the great D drive debacle, so I took the chance to find some brand new shinies for my new home.

Most of the icons come from: . You must join to see the icons, but it's worth it. They are beautiful. The other icons are 2 from Grey's Anatomy (I am in love with this show) and two of Matt Bomer (the man is gorgeous)

On other news, I got knackered at work this weekend. We had a lot of business. I got home very tired yesterda, but it was worth it. A lot of business means better job security.

This week I work my standar 24 hours, this means 3 days off, but I got myself a few things to do, like old friends to catch up with. And cleaning the house obviously. Today I finally cleaned the kitchen and the bedroom and even started thinking of settling my plants for winter. Autumn is coming early this year. Let's hope we are not going to have another year of snow and ice like the last one. I have an half an hour drive to go to work this year.

I am a bit depressing aren't I? Looking for good weather and job security while I have a full afternoon to pretty up my journal and read some good bdsm. Probably it's a bit of PMS and my usual reaction to autumn. I love it and at the same time it affects my illness in unpleasant ways.

What am I reading?
The Sex corps series by epeeblade. Great series and a pairing that even if it's rare always inspire me:Jeffrey Dean Morgan/Jensen Ackles.

The other Master opus to read for this pairing is A Kept Boy by Poisontaster :

Go. Read
matilda36: (brad back)
I have a new favourite website: Check out the shop: made for women from women. And the films are quite good too. A warning: it's definitely NSFW.

I am quite perky today. I am going to Ikea with my dad. Now, I know a lot of people don't think there's anything fun with a trip to Ikea in December, but I am in an holiday mood, and shopping is part of the holiday mood. Speaking of shopping I may have found the laptop I want. It's slightly more expensive than I planned, but it's solid and I need something that can take my high level usage. Now I just have to see if the size of my Christmas bonus matches it.

I think that the thing that makes me happy about Ikea is that I get to spend some time with my dad. We haven't had an afternoon together in a while and they always make me happy.

In other news I am rereading [ profile] zelda_zee The Exchange: . Hot porny threesome with an incredible erotic tension.
matilda36: (Default)
Not too bad a day at work. Yesterday had been worse. I still get irritated by the smallest thing, but I am trying to slowly work on my anger. I know it's very old and I know it's very useless. Rather unproductive, but it has been with me for so long that I don't know how to be without it.

Anyway, it wasn't a busy day but we had some queues and that's good.I had a look at my shifts next week and apparently they have decided that my not being available Monday and Thursday morning means that they have to give me afternoon shifts. What it means is that Monday and Thursday evenings I'll be so tired that my anger will be curling low in my belly and that my hands will probably shake. At least I am off both Tuesday and Friday, so i can recover. I have Saturday free, I'll see if my dad wants to do something together.

Stopped for food on the way home, ate Profitterols while watching White Collar (I am still on the fence on that one. Neil Cafferty is an interesting character and the relationship between the male leads is captivating in a snot slashy way, but it can easily become just another cop show). Now I am eating eggs while reading House/Wilson/Chase threesome fics:

Try this: it's good.
matilda36: (Default)
Can I reiterate the fact that I am tired? Last night I had one of my tiredness related meltdowns in front of my therapist. It did me good, I think. She scared me with all the change to come, I threw a fit about how change for me it's impossible, we dabbled a bit in the darkest parts of my mind, she told me to go home and get some rest.

I tried. The problem is that I try to sleep, I even fall asleep, but then I start to dream, and dream, and dream. No nightmares, thank good, just stories. Realistic stories, even interesting stories. Sometimes I wake up wanting to know the end. But stories mean no rest.

I am told vivid dreams are a side effect of sleeping medication, my doctor suggested melatonine and i think I'll try that next visit. But in the meantime I need to find alternative ways to relax. This mean porn.

Does anybody have any good recs for me? I'll take most fandoms except for HP and Twilight, and I am in the mood for something long and kinky

I so do not want to go to work today.
matilda36: (Default)

Shoving the insistent panic from the front of his thoughts, he forces his cramping body to go faster. He's a free man, he's outside and the gray sky is above him. He has a job and a car and a mortgage. He takes care of people. He is in control. He's better; he has to be better.

Then why are you swallowing lithium every night?

This is a quote from [ profile] nilchancebeautiful fic The Middle road (  you can find it at her journal or at the Community created for [ profile] poisontasterA Kept Boy AU, that I strongly reccomend to all those into high quality slavery fics, RPS and great fics in general)

I recognise myself a lot in this paragraph. Bipolar disorder can be medicated, and life can be relatively normal for us, but there's always the edge, the knowing that anything at any moment can knock you off balance. And the temptation of hypomania, where you feel like you own the world and for a while you actually do, before everything comes crashing down.
matilda36: (wilson)
Is it my impression or House/Wilson became canon last night?

Anyway, It was a good episode. Great season so far.
matilda36: (Default)
I have got a cold. Not a full blown cold, just a tickle in my troat that hurts a bit when I swallow, the beginning of a stuffed nose and an head full of cotton candy. And a full blown whine.

Today I gotta go to work. Just a 4 hours shift, and probably it's going to do me some good. I had quite the intense session with my therapist on Thursday, and while I left feeling pretty good, yesterday I felt a bit... precarious. Change is coming and I never liked it. So going to work will give me something else to think about, the strenght to do instead of just survive.

On other news: who else has been watching White collar?
matilda36: (groping)

[personal profile] chef_hector is my best friend. We met nearly 4 years ago through the Sylum yahoo mailing list and we hit it off straight away. We started RPing Odysseus and Hector in the Sylum universe and we have since created an alternate Universe full of food porn, animals, coffee and exotic islands. 

With time our relationship has become deeper and deeper. He's been here in my difficult moments, when I was diagnosed and through the haze of those first few months in which I was still trying to find my way through illness. He taught me how to fight without passive aggressive bullshit and we have weathered a few storms. But each one has left us closer.

Life has changed us a lot since we met. We went through unemployment and jobs, relationships shattered and rebuilt. We have been there for each other and still are. We never get tired of talking to each other, we never get tired of each other's company.

We now RP Jon Stewart and Anderson Cooper too and we have a lot of fun with those characters. Maybe one day, now that Jake has finally been persuaded to join livejournal, we'll publish some of our RPs.

He's smart (more than he thinks) funny in his obsessions for men in leather skirts (or tight red shorts), a good cook, a great father to Lily and a good husband to Joey.

He's an all around good guy. He's living a mixed signals periods and can do with some love, so go to [personal profile] chef_hector and show him some love. He deserves it.

Insta rec

Oct. 20th, 2009 09:36 pm
matilda36: (Life isn't over yet)

Shamelss by Helen:

Amazing, amazing story. I love BDSM lifestyle stories, but most of them tend to get lost in the intricacies of training. This one manages to keep a balance between the hot hot sex and the development of characters. It hits all my kinks (and some I didn't know I had).

The pairing? Chrstian Bale/Sean Bean/Bill Fichtner, with a special place in my heart for Viggo Mortensen, but it doesn't matter if you don't know them. The story reads as an original AU where people can sell themselves into sexual slavery. Kink and moral dilemmas ensue.

It's difficult to explain... just go and read it. You'll like it
matilda36: (shirtless)
Let's welcome to livejournal [personal profile] chef_hector

He is my best friend, my internet husband, my RPing mate. He plays Hector on Sylum and he's the best cook I know. Ask him for recipes and shower him with love


Oct. 1st, 2009 09:35 am
matilda36: (Default)

I am thinking of doing NaBloPoMo (Nationa Blog Posting Month) this year too. I really enjoyed it last time.

I am planning my birthday's Amazon shipment. Any suggestions?

I am on a Tim/Kon kick. As in Tim Drake (Robin) and Kon El/Conner Kent Luthor (Superboy). I don't read comics anymore (too expensive) and I have never read Batman comics (too dark), but I really like this pairing, I recognise a lot of myself in Kon, the sudden child trying to fit and Tim, the control freak in constant struggle with darkness.

Anyway, I found two amazing fics. The first is a Smallville crossover (the best Kon fics are all Smallville crossovers, because they allow Lex Luthor to be a good father) and an AU:

The second is a Tim fic, crossover with House:
Oh and I know I am late, but the new Star Trek film kicks ass.


matilda36: (Default)

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