This deep loneliness inside me
Jan. 23rd, 2013 01:38 pm Monday was barely bearable. I slept the morning and I went to bed early to read "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (I am finally coming around to read all the books, before now the on ly I had read properly were the last two). I couldn't stand to be in front of the PC, reading bad fanfic any longer.
Yesterday I woke up in a flull blown panic. I did clean the house, browsed for jobs and finished GoF, so I felt a bit better. This morning I went out with my neighbour like every wednesday and it helped. I think I spent too much time cooped inside. I had daily human contact, but probably that wasn't enough. This morning helped, but here I am in the afternoon still panicky and deeply lonely. I am reading OotP and it's distracting me, but maybe I am identifying a bit too much with Harry in this book.
I have reached the point in which I stagger housechores to have something to do everyday.
This doesn't change things. I am lonely and I have to find something to do with my time. I tried writing, but the words gets stuck in my trhoat. I may look for another job to keep me busy and implement my income, but this doesn't change the fact that I am lonely. And the fact is that even with those I love around me, even with my dad here, I feel lonely.
Maybe it's time to start cruising the dating sites.
Yesterday I woke up in a flull blown panic. I did clean the house, browsed for jobs and finished GoF, so I felt a bit better. This morning I went out with my neighbour like every wednesday and it helped. I think I spent too much time cooped inside. I had daily human contact, but probably that wasn't enough. This morning helped, but here I am in the afternoon still panicky and deeply lonely. I am reading OotP and it's distracting me, but maybe I am identifying a bit too much with Harry in this book.
I have reached the point in which I stagger housechores to have something to do everyday.
This doesn't change things. I am lonely and I have to find something to do with my time. I tried writing, but the words gets stuck in my trhoat. I may look for another job to keep me busy and implement my income, but this doesn't change the fact that I am lonely. And the fact is that even with those I love around me, even with my dad here, I feel lonely.
Maybe it's time to start cruising the dating sites.