I am lucky because...
Apr. 4th, 2011 11:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matilda36On Saturday after work I went out for dinner with a colleague. We had a good time and I was surprised.
Apparently they are happy with my work. And my boss told me that yes, they are going to extend my contract, with a view of making it permanent.
My colleague, C., is very good at her job, on line for a promotion. Yesterday she worked the 11am-5pm shift and I was working 2pm closing time. My boss when he arrived told C that she had to stay till closing time to help. Then he asked who he was in his shift and when hC told him that there was me he told her: I am not going to need you then.
It was nice.to feel wanted and liked, considering how harsh I have been about my recent performance.
And how down I have been feeling generally about things. I am not at peace with my bipolar disorder. Not at all. The medications are making me feel a bit numb, sometimes a bit slow surrounded by cotton candy.
But when something in my med regime changes (like Zolot) the symptoms that led me here come back pretty quickly.
Yesterday I met up with an old friend. She's my oldest friend and I love her dearly. We spoke briefly about my problem and she said that even under heavy medication I was managing well. Then while she was leaving she mentioned how she was surprised that my house was tidy, everything considered.
Thinking about it in retrospect I was going to say to her: Fuck you, I am mad, I am not dead and I take pride in what little I am able to accomplish: Living alone, working, driving...Maybe should I look at what I am able to accomplish instead of looking at what I am not able to do?
Apparently they are happy with my work. And my boss told me that yes, they are going to extend my contract, with a view of making it permanent.
My colleague, C., is very good at her job, on line for a promotion. Yesterday she worked the 11am-5pm shift and I was working 2pm closing time. My boss when he arrived told C that she had to stay till closing time to help. Then he asked who he was in his shift and when hC told him that there was me he told her: I am not going to need you then.
It was nice.to feel wanted and liked, considering how harsh I have been about my recent performance.
And how down I have been feeling generally about things. I am not at peace with my bipolar disorder. Not at all. The medications are making me feel a bit numb, sometimes a bit slow surrounded by cotton candy.
But when something in my med regime changes (like Zolot) the symptoms that led me here come back pretty quickly.
Yesterday I met up with an old friend. She's my oldest friend and I love her dearly. We spoke briefly about my problem and she said that even under heavy medication I was managing well. Then while she was leaving she mentioned how she was surprised that my house was tidy, everything considered.
Thinking about it in retrospect I was going to say to her: Fuck you, I am mad, I am not dead and I take pride in what little I am able to accomplish: Living alone, working, driving...Maybe should I look at what I am able to accomplish instead of looking at what I am not able to do?
