I was pissy at people in my mind
Nov. 22nd, 2009 03:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matilda36Busy day at work (good news because we need the business), but I got a bit pissy for a couple of small things, like people taking too long to eat or one of the managers spending time playing Blackjack. Luckily I managed to keep those thoughts in my mind and away from the customers. I felt a bit distant from my colleagues. That's not a good sign. When that kind of thoughts creeps into my mind, that arrogance, means that I am on the verge of mania. Tiredness, change, work with my therapist are triggering.
Strange that I put working with my therapist as a trigger. She makes me feel as if I have a right to be alive, a right to do well at my job, that I have right to a better job. That I can speak up for myself. That I can. My anger makes this explosive.
So I am staying silent. Violently silent.
Good news? I played a fun RP withchef_hector and his sweet husband. I also drove to work. Twice in three days. Everybody tells me that the only way to stop being afraid of driving is to drive, so i am trying.
Plans for the rest of the day? Relaxing. Long day tomorrow and I need to wind down. Need to deal with my anger
Strange that I put working with my therapist as a trigger. She makes me feel as if I have a right to be alive, a right to do well at my job, that I have right to a better job. That I can speak up for myself. That I can. My anger makes this explosive.
So I am staying silent. Violently silent.
Good news? I played a fun RP with
chef_hector and his sweet husband. I also drove to work. Twice in three days. Everybody tells me that the only way to stop being afraid of driving is to drive, so i am trying.Plans for the rest of the day? Relaxing. Long day tomorrow and I need to wind down. Need to deal with my anger
