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Watching the X Factor results show. It's always exciting for me to watch British television live. It makes me feel less homesick.

I am not sure that I would be able to live in London again, but I'd love a smaller town, even a village.

But at the moment I am happy where I am. I got a job, a little house I love, good healthcare services... my dad and some good friends.

Now if only I could manage to smash this block of fear that keeps me locked in the house in front of the computer whenever I am not at work...that would be wonderful. I have so many things to do. Since starting on medication I have let go of my intellectual passions. I have let go all my interests. In part it's due to my medications, that make me sleep a lot and slow my mind a bit, but now I want more.

I have the time to do more, I am just.... stuck.