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Food and strikes
Jun. 30th, 2004 08:16 pmSurvived the Tube strike. The Londoners are the most patient people in the world. Got upset, some told very clearly to the strikers what they thought of them, but no violence, only creative and organised survival skills.
Bal and I did the best of our last day of freedom by holding a burping competition at lunchtime.
I am angry at the moment: DF, people who didn't make an effort today and didn't even bother to ring in, the RMT are making me angry. So I stopped by the chippie on the way home. A little girl, clearly overweight was there, claiming loudly her saveloy.
I have been overweight all my life, but I have never been loud about claiming my food.I have been trying to think how it came that I became overweight. While I loved riding my bike, I have ever been crap at sport. I started 4 or 5 of them, but never carried on any of them. Balls scare me, and I was too big bodied, to tall, too clumsy to be any good. My mother was a good cook and I had to eat all my food. I was lonely, loving reading above anything else. Being fat, feeding myself badly is simply another way of punishing myself, of shutting up my feelings. I am ashamed of myself because I am not able to write a balanced self evaluation, forcing other people to do it for me. I do not like putting any weight on other people. But I am also angry because a little gesture of help, asked out of desperation, has been made feel like a concession. I am angry because I will not be able to do my job when it will be my turn, because I am afraid of being honest and the consequences of my own honesty. So I will shut up once again. Better fill my mouth so I keep quiet. It's me the coward, the madwoman, the one who deserve punishment. Who/what is to blame if not me? Do we need somebody/something to blame? Is it worth it? I have always believed in assuming responsibility and facing the consequences of your actions and nothing upsets me more than people who blame others for their mistakes and even more do not receive punishment for them. I hate undeserving people getting recognition. I see too many of them. I do not accept recognition for myself because I have seen it lavished on the undeserving too much. It is dirty. Who are you to be the judge? Even of yourself. Try it as an experiment: abstain from judgment for a couple of hours, that I will spend instead watching Portugal-Holland. Portugal is winning.
Bal and I did the best of our last day of freedom by holding a burping competition at lunchtime.
I am angry at the moment: DF, people who didn't make an effort today and didn't even bother to ring in, the RMT are making me angry. So I stopped by the chippie on the way home. A little girl, clearly overweight was there, claiming loudly her saveloy.
I have been overweight all my life, but I have never been loud about claiming my food.I have been trying to think how it came that I became overweight. While I loved riding my bike, I have ever been crap at sport. I started 4 or 5 of them, but never carried on any of them. Balls scare me, and I was too big bodied, to tall, too clumsy to be any good. My mother was a good cook and I had to eat all my food. I was lonely, loving reading above anything else. Being fat, feeding myself badly is simply another way of punishing myself, of shutting up my feelings. I am ashamed of myself because I am not able to write a balanced self evaluation, forcing other people to do it for me. I do not like putting any weight on other people. But I am also angry because a little gesture of help, asked out of desperation, has been made feel like a concession. I am angry because I will not be able to do my job when it will be my turn, because I am afraid of being honest and the consequences of my own honesty. So I will shut up once again. Better fill my mouth so I keep quiet. It's me the coward, the madwoman, the one who deserve punishment. Who/what is to blame if not me? Do we need somebody/something to blame? Is it worth it? I have always believed in assuming responsibility and facing the consequences of your actions and nothing upsets me more than people who blame others for their mistakes and even more do not receive punishment for them. I hate undeserving people getting recognition. I see too many of them. I do not accept recognition for myself because I have seen it lavished on the undeserving too much. It is dirty. Who are you to be the judge? Even of yourself. Try it as an experiment: abstain from judgment for a couple of hours, that I will spend instead watching Portugal-Holland. Portugal is winning.