Update

[matilda36]

I know I have been a bit absent this december, but...I have been a bit worried. I had to halve the dosage of Zoloft because the side effects were just too much. I was shaking most of the time, my heartbeat was really fast, I had nausea, muscle clamps at night that kept me awake and my thoughts had started to speed up a bit too fast.

I have halved it and I would have stopped it altogheter if not for the fact that this dosage helps me sleep pretty well at night, so I'll wait until seeing my psychatrist on wednesday to stop it.

I had the shittiest ever day at work last wednesday. My boss had make a mistake while preparing shifts and we were understaffed, he was in a bad mood and I was clumsy. He got anrgy and told me off. Do you know these days where nothing you do is right? That was wednesday. At one point I was close to tears.

I think that the Zoloft is making me slower and clumsier. I have made a couple of mistakes at work that had my colleagues laughing because it's not that I don't know how to do things or I do them badly... I am just a bit out of it.

I got a problem with my car. The water in the radiator overheats, so I have to stop and top it up. I started topping it before leaving home every 2 days or so and I have been travelling fine for the time being. I have an appointment thursday with the mechanic. I hope it's nothing bad, I really need my car and I can't afford a new one.

Today I have an appointment with the disability commission to confirm that my job matches my disability. I had a meeting with a social worker who told me that a)  The commission could have been more generous in their assessment when they decided the percentage of disability ( Yeah in Italy they measure your disability in percentages decided  in 5 min utes interview and you get more or less benefits according to your percentage.) b) This meeting will not change my disability levels (I was worried I would loose the benefits I have) c) i shouldn't be so nervous. But I am.
 

What else? Not a lot. Oh yeah. Yesterday I managed to clean my room and the kitchen. Great victory! My plan is to finish cleaning the house this week so I can put up Christams decorations.  My dad and ClassicFM have put me in a festive mood.

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