matilda36

I am not feeling well. Yeah I know I spent most of this month saying that. Today at work one customer tried to cheat some money out of me and I snapped, giving him exactly what he wanted. My boss was nice. First of all he told me that the whole thing was his responsibility and not mine because he was the boss. It's very nice to work with somebody who takes his responsibilities seriously. Then he told me that if I had had a more calm reaction things would have gone better. He told me off but he made me feel good about it, like a good boss.

The truth is that I was ready to snap. I am still ready to snap. Tomorrow I am going to see my therapist and I will tell her that i need to work on loving myself, because I think that there's a deep thread of selfhatred in this my not feeling well. I hate myself sick, so I hate myself full stop.