matilda36

I am afraid that my father is angry with me. If I close my eyes all I see is myself on the floor cowering away from the kicks people seems to enjoy giving me. In my mind. I am pretty sure there is a perfectly good reason why he wasn't answering the phone yesterday and that reason is not me. But I am scared. I tried meditation and I did come out with strenght. What I am afraid of is my strenght. In my mind strenght and violence are related and i cannot believe that one can exist without the other. I am afraid that if I am strong I will become violent. But I am strong already.

Just spoken with my father. He is ok and not angry with me. Only working too much in an area without reception. I feel much better with his love behind me.