matilda36

Spoke with Giuliana last night. She says that she misses having me around for chats and company. Don't tell her, but I miss my Brigadier General as well. She misses our chats, my unconventional culture and my suggestions (she still hasn't recovered from her introduction to Priscilla Queen of the Desert. I can understand that Mr Smith in drag is a sight that is difficult to forget.. I told her of this feeling I have as if I have to do something, only I do not remember what i have to do and she suggested that I do not want to remember, because being stuck is in some way a comfortable situation. No choice. Coward. She says also that I should stop thinking about it and listen to my emotions more. My basic instinct at the moment is to hand in my notice. But I am not doing it, at least until I get my bonus. Last thought last night before going to sleep: I spend all my life striving for perfection. And failing. But what would be the perfect me? The me that I feel so comfortable with to hand in my notice and stop trying to be the perfect civil servant?

I may be on something here...