Harry Potter

[matilda36]

Hello world, I am still alive. And I am a bit better. I got used to the changes in my sleep cycles due to working evening shifts (This has lead to a lot of morning naps. I love getting up, having breakfast, chtting with my bro, and then going back to bed.)

My house is still a mess, yesterday I managed to do my laundry but it was quite the achievement. I blame all the overtime I have been working. It's all very good for my wallet. I am very aware that next month I have taxes and car insurance to pay.

Anyway. Today I am writing this from the computers at work, while I wait to go and see Harry Potter. Yep, here in Italy is out two days early, I booked my tickets two weeks ago.and now I am super excited. I have packed extra tissues because I know I will cry.

Found myself thinking hard about how my illness affects me everyday and how much it affects my behaviours and personality. And how many regrets I have in my life. If only I had been diagnosed 20, even 10 years earlier, I would probably avoided making a mess of my life a number of times.

Instead I live my quiet, controlled, normal and a bit lonely life. Alone, alive and fighting everyday with myself.

Comments

[smw]

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better.

Alone, alive, and fighting with myself – oh, I know that feeling! By holding tight to what relationships I have and taking each day as a victory against my own tendency to self-destruction, I find it easier to be comfortable.

[matilda36]

My mother had an history of addiction and died after a long fight against cancer. At those who complained about getting old, she used to say: Every day is not lost is survived.