matilda36

Yesterday it was an hard day at work. For those who don't know it I work at a bookmaker. I recently changed shop and contract. Before I had 2 months long temp contract, this time I have a 9 months long contract. The difference is that my contract now is a special contract for disable people, that offers me more protection as a disable person and my employer interesting tax breaks. The differences are only on paper because I keep doing the same job than I was doing before, with the same amount of overtime (Theoretically I have a part time a 24 hours a week, but normally I do between 30 to 35 hours a week) and the same duties.

I like the new shop, the colleagues are ok and the customers are much better. More polite, more relaxed and they spend more money.

There's a girl that started a month after me. She's half my age and very, very pretty. As expected she's a bit of a flirt (but if your life plan for the next 5 years involves finding an housband that can support you while i stay at home I would pretty myself too. End of catty moment) and she's pretty. I push 40, I am medicated, overweight and selfconscious. I am jealous and envious.

I wish I had her age and her prettiness so that men would react to me the way they react to her.
I wish I still had the world in front of me.
I wish my world would not revolve around the hope they make my contract permanent so i can spend the next 30 years selling bets on a part time basis, relaying on overtime for survival.

I know that I am smarter, I know I am wiser, I know I am stronger, but looking at the men hanging to her pretty smile and her short skirts makes me feel like the thing the cat dragged in.