I am having a Joan Rivers moment...
Mar. 7th, 2006 07:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matilda36I am watching the Oscars Red carpet pictures and this year like the last a cry comes out of my heart.
Can please all you skinny pale blondes (yes, I am talking about you Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Uma Thurman, Reese Witherspoon, Diane Kruger.) stop wearing pale and gold colours? They make you all look like death warmed over.
A particular plea to Michelle Williams. Not even having Heath Ledger as your arm candy makes that yellow horror acceptable. Especially with that shade of lipstick and the piggytails.
Speaking of bad hair days: Jada Pinkett Smith: gorgeous dress, gorgeous husband, shame about the codpiece.
Still on the subject of celebrity couples: Jennifer Lopez was in my eyes the most stunning. Over the years she has perfected the art of the red carpet: to be noticed for all the right reasons. But she could have left her little dog home...
You should learn a trick or two from Felicity Hoffman/William Macy. She was an hot desperate housewife and he was the only husband on the carpet that didn't look scared to death by what his wife was wearing...
The older generation showed to the younger how to do it. Judy Dench: a dame by name and by style.
And Charlize Theron? I am sure there's some chair missing their upholstery. As for your hair, I am glad you decided to help the environment by creating new birds nesting space.
And speaking of environment: A question to those in the know: Is Jennifer Garner pregnant again? I couldn't explain the choice of dress otherwise. Or maybe she has decided to start recycling?
The same apply to Rachel Weisz. Sorry girl, you are one of the pretties around, don't hide inside a rubbish sack...even if you ARE 7 months pregnant.
Another one who stole the house soft furnishing is Joan Rivers. Shame on you girl...
Maggie Gyllenhal? Love you and your little brother to bits, but when your therapist told you that love handles are meant to be sexy, I am sure he didn't mean for you to show them to all the world at the Oscars...
Queen Latifah? You got it right girl! Hurrah for big boned girls!
A special mention I think need to go to Helena Bonham Carter. Another bird lover, judging by the nest on her head, for once, she wore a dress that made her look good. Shame she didn't had the time to check on what Tim Burton was wearing before leaving home...
The same applies to Selma Hayek. Finally in a dress that show her off. She has probably gotten a tip or two from fellow latina Jennifer Lopez.
Now the boyz. Heath Ledger facial hair should go straight into some pornstache museum.
Eric Bana and George Clooney: you own my heart.
Morgan Freeman? You own my heart too, but you were at the Oscars, not yachting in the Mediterranean..
P.S.Ben Stiller? Don't tell anybody I said this, but you look cute in Paul Smith...
Can please all you skinny pale blondes (yes, I am talking about you Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Uma Thurman, Reese Witherspoon, Diane Kruger.) stop wearing pale and gold colours? They make you all look like death warmed over.
A particular plea to Michelle Williams. Not even having Heath Ledger as your arm candy makes that yellow horror acceptable. Especially with that shade of lipstick and the piggytails.
Speaking of bad hair days: Jada Pinkett Smith: gorgeous dress, gorgeous husband, shame about the codpiece.
Still on the subject of celebrity couples: Jennifer Lopez was in my eyes the most stunning. Over the years she has perfected the art of the red carpet: to be noticed for all the right reasons. But she could have left her little dog home...
You should learn a trick or two from Felicity Hoffman/William Macy. She was an hot desperate housewife and he was the only husband on the carpet that didn't look scared to death by what his wife was wearing...
The older generation showed to the younger how to do it. Judy Dench: a dame by name and by style.
And Charlize Theron? I am sure there's some chair missing their upholstery. As for your hair, I am glad you decided to help the environment by creating new birds nesting space.
And speaking of environment: A question to those in the know: Is Jennifer Garner pregnant again? I couldn't explain the choice of dress otherwise. Or maybe she has decided to start recycling?
The same apply to Rachel Weisz. Sorry girl, you are one of the pretties around, don't hide inside a rubbish sack...even if you ARE 7 months pregnant.
Another one who stole the house soft furnishing is Joan Rivers. Shame on you girl...
Maggie Gyllenhal? Love you and your little brother to bits, but when your therapist told you that love handles are meant to be sexy, I am sure he didn't mean for you to show them to all the world at the Oscars...
Queen Latifah? You got it right girl! Hurrah for big boned girls!
A special mention I think need to go to Helena Bonham Carter. Another bird lover, judging by the nest on her head, for once, she wore a dress that made her look good. Shame she didn't had the time to check on what Tim Burton was wearing before leaving home...
The same applies to Selma Hayek. Finally in a dress that show her off. She has probably gotten a tip or two from fellow latina Jennifer Lopez.
Now the boyz. Heath Ledger facial hair should go straight into some pornstache museum.
Eric Bana and George Clooney: you own my heart.
Morgan Freeman? You own my heart too, but you were at the Oscars, not yachting in the Mediterranean..
P.S.Ben Stiller? Don't tell anybody I said this, but you look cute in Paul Smith...
