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First day at school
Nov. 5th, 2009 01:42 pmSlept like a log last night. From 8:30 to 5:30. It felt good...This morning it was stressful. So many unknown variables... First it was the train, then the walk, then finding my place in the chaos of the first day of school. So I ended up eating Macdonalds (again)
It went well. The school where I am going is good. It's a small No profit, so most of the teachers aren't professionals but voluntaries with a teaching background, but the good thing is that they allowed me to be part of the teaching process.Knowing me I can fit in there, even if ideologically we come from different backgrounds (the No Profit is run by catholics). I want to fit.
The important thing is to avoid my lovely passive aggressive tendencies and to do that I need to keep working with my therapist. I have an appointment tonight and I don't relish the thought of having to go out again, when the only thing I want is to watch Top Chef and read. But especially with this new swallowing obsession (I wake up at night thinking I can't swallow and it takes me a while to remember I can) I need to go.
When i last went to see my psychiatrist he said an interesting thing. He said that the therapy work is not ongoing, but with an end in sight. That somehow at some point I can be "whole again" (my words, not his.). Or better "Whole". It's the thing i want the most. More than a good job, more than a new laptop, more than a trip to London (yeah i am very practical in my wishes, no world peace or world domination for me.)
It went well. The school where I am going is good. It's a small No profit, so most of the teachers aren't professionals but voluntaries with a teaching background, but the good thing is that they allowed me to be part of the teaching process.Knowing me I can fit in there, even if ideologically we come from different backgrounds (the No Profit is run by catholics). I want to fit.
The important thing is to avoid my lovely passive aggressive tendencies and to do that I need to keep working with my therapist. I have an appointment tonight and I don't relish the thought of having to go out again, when the only thing I want is to watch Top Chef and read. But especially with this new swallowing obsession (I wake up at night thinking I can't swallow and it takes me a while to remember I can) I need to go.
When i last went to see my psychiatrist he said an interesting thing. He said that the therapy work is not ongoing, but with an end in sight. That somehow at some point I can be "whole again" (my words, not his.). Or better "Whole". It's the thing i want the most. More than a good job, more than a new laptop, more than a trip to London (yeah i am very practical in my wishes, no world peace or world domination for me.)
