(no subject)

I give up

(no subject)

I gave up ages ago. No need to do it now. I gave up when I found myself unable to dream. When I found myself completely reliant on others. When I lost my gift for loneliness. When being afraid took over my life completely. When I lost my identity. When I made myself believe I had it all, when I didn't have nothing, only a society acceptable way of having it all. When I left myself for somebody else. Opening the way for the dark childe. Who now rules in darkness and void. There are two ways out of her kingdom. One I know. The other, I pray the Goddess to show me.

(no subject)

I was ok, getting better and better until I saw Broccoli this week. I was working hard on being happy, positive and myself. Then he says that I am not telling him my emotions. That there are emotions inside me that I am not touching. He keeps asking me the same question again and again and I do not know what he wants to hear, I do not know what is this magic answer that will make him stop. He says that if I do not open up to him it's a waste of time and work. Well, thank you dear doctor, but I thought I was doing pretty well myself. Being myself, being self reliant, more sociable, learning again and the work with the Goddess has been helping me a lot. I had made peace with my past, was working on making peace with myself and you shatter it like that? Fuck you. And fuck me because I let you. Fuck you everybody. I am myself and I am mine. I follow my own music and sing my own song. And I do not give a fuck if you do not approve. You got what you wanted doctor, you pissed me off. You hurt me for my own good? Well I got news for you. I know what my own good is and is not in emotions that do not exist. It is in emotions that do exist, even if you do not call them emotions. The consequence is the emotion. There is no causes, only consequences. There is no failure, only honesty. And I am at peace, walking on my path. Blessed be.