Jan. 29th, 2012

matilda36: (i am done pretending)
I am an idiot. I told you that I have been drinking coffee occasionally when I needed to wake up early in the morning. This morning was one of such occasions so I drank my coffee.

It was 7am it's nearly 6pm and I am still jumping. I was alternatively giggly and irritable this morning, with a couple of situations where I simply screwed up. Luckily I didn't argue with anybody and maintained peace. The morning was peaceful and well organised at work. Then at 2pm M, the colleague that had decided that I wasn't trustworthy enough to go out with her anymore arrived. The atmosphere suddenly changed. Apparently her I am gonna talk to her at work has become I will never talk to her again, because she didn't even say hello back. I have no idea of what's going on in that contorted brain of her and do you know? I don't wanna know. I go to work, do my work, if there's the chance to talk and laugh I will, otherwise I will just do my work.

I will not hate anybody, feel uncomfortable with anybody. I have been there and I don't want to be there anymore. This time I haven't allowed my illness to take over, at the most I have been a bit gossipy, and I will not allow any person or event to become a trigger for me.

It's back to no coffee and tonight I will take a slightly higher dosage of sleeping drops (with doctor's consent), but tomorrow starts my vacation and I plan on enjoying it. The same way I'll enjoy going back to work.

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matilda36

October 2014

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