matilda36: (i am done pretending)
[personal profile] matilda36
 I know that one of my biggest difects is that I am judgmental. I see a person or I hear a story and I am ready to judge.. I am working on it, trying to be more open recognising that people are equals to me, not above nor below, just on the same level, even when it's difficult.

It's easy to judge a drug dealer as inferior to me. I am honest, hardworking and I don't kill people.

It's easy to judge people who do more than me, who are not lazy and easily tired like me as superior than me.

But those are extreme cases. Today I was faced with a much more difficult situation. Where I was working before I was befriended by a couple of people at work. I started going out with them. It was nice, while it lasted. At some point, for some idiotic reason I incurred in the wrath of these people, especially of the "boss" of the group, a woman 10 years older than me. Apparently we made peace, but things were never like before. I kept making mistakes, after which I had to apologise, till at some point I became a pariah to her and her group. If I were to judge this woman I would not be nice in my judgement.

Today I went to another of our shops to cover for somebody.. Everything went well till this woman M. , who now works at that shop arrived. She ignored me so I said, I'll be the bigger woman and say hello. She looked at me with hate in her eyes. I spent the last hour of my shoft feeling very, very small and scared.

Now, how can I not judge somebody who so openly hates me, without a serious reason?



 

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matilda36

October 2014

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