matilda36: (don't wake me up)
[personal profile] matilda36
 Had two intense days at work, and realised that I am not able to smile at work anymore. I go with the best intentions, try some smiles, try to be relaxed and joke, and I fail completely.

I close up in myself more and more and I reach the end of my shift completely gone. I know that I am obssessing about work, but  work is the only place I have to confront people with this new attitude i am trying to have towards the world. 

I want to..... I was gonna say be a good person, but that's not it.  I am already a decent human being. I don't want to become a saint because those are made of a different cloth.  I am a bit of a gossip, I am a fiend when it comes to parking, I can be a bit judgmental and I spend a lot of time in a dark place, but I am a decent human being. I can do better and that it's something that I m gonna try.

But it's not the issue here what I want to become is a positive person. Somebody who thinks not "Oh I had 10 euros missing from my till" but she thinks "I was a goddess at parking today", who doesn't think: "this is a difficult customer i know it alread"y but she thinks "I already knows what thinks customer wants so i can give it to him".

Switch thinking patterns. But it's hard. Tonight I am going out with some friends from outside work. I know only one person from the group well, so it's gonna be an interesting experience. To see if I can be a positive person in a new environment.

In the meantime I think I am gonna need an afternoon nap. I am soooooo tired.

 

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matilda36

October 2014

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