matilda36: (don't wake me up)
[personal profile] matilda36
 To keep up positivity is hard, especially when you are used to be negative and you are at peace only when you are alone and the world cannot touch you., As soon as you have to go out in the world, the world catches up with you.

I am happy and balanced only when I am alone. as I am discovering it these last few weeks, where I work sat, sun, mon and I am free the other days. Days that I spend blissfully alone. When I can write optimistic posts.

Knowing that I am going to work this afternoon has me anxious. The first question is:"will I find a parking spot?". Then there's "Will we be busy?" and then there's "Will my till check out or will I miss money at the end of the day?". All these questions take away my breath. 

The only thing I can answer is: "It will be as God wants it to be". This helps me a bit, till the anxiety starts to rise again.

With anxiety come sadness and negativity. I am not able to smile.

Let's try an exercise: Smile at least for today. Accept reality and fight to improve things where you can, like in being a better cashier and being more careful with money. As for parking...that's really in the hands of the Lord

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matilda36

October 2014

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