Feb. 4th, 2014 01:58 pm
matilda36: (Default)
[personal profile] matilda36
 On Sunday I was reading one of those self help blogs. It was talking about acceptance: acceptance of life and of where it puts us, and acceptance of ouselves.

I said: I will never be able to do it.

This morning I woke up with a feeling of peace and contentment, of acceptance. Yes I have bipolar disorder, but it doesn't mean it has to stop me. Yes I am broke, but I have enough money to take me to my next payday. Yes, I am a disaster in parking, but I'll be more careful in the future and accept the consequences of my mistakes.

Two nights ago, I prayed: I prayed the Lord to give me a sign, I prayed my mother to guide me in her unique way. This feeling I have may be the fruit of those prayers. I don't know if it will last (I honestly hope so, I could do with some clarity in my mind), but for sure I am enjoying it. Friday I am going to visit my mother ( in the cemetery), because I have been missing her like crazy recently.

Yesterday at work, everything went well, for the first time in ages I made some money and tickets on a weekday. And I did not do any big mistakes. That probably helped with my serenity as well. Oh and I have not to go to work till saturday.

Time to get something done? I am trying a technique [ profile] cleo69 thaught me. You give yourself a goal and meet it, but without a time restraint, like saying tomorrow I have to do this or I am a total failure and I can go back to my lazy ways. Just a goal. and when you meet it, you set another one, and then another one, till you are used to do things, without the pressure to do it everyday. If one day you are too tired, or not feeling well, it's ok. 

Tomorrow I am gonna set me a bit objective: dust the living room. I'll see how I do.

For today I met my goals and i am going to keep reading (and probably finish, (Gervase, write the next one quick) The cross and the poppy by the lovely Gervase Wemyss [ profile] wemyss  Bapton Books publishing, available on all the major (and minor) booksites.

It may be one of those things that have inspired this bout of Faith. It's a deeply religious book, but calling it a Christian book would be to make it a disservice. It's a book with great characters, some of which are defined by their faith and the story is closely linked with religious happenings, but that's not all the story. It's.... a great book. I'll probably write it a proper review once I have finished it For the moment it's great company and great inspiration.

Amen, sister, amen.


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